The first round in the movie region saw many a famous character go down, none more so than the movie region. The behemoth of Godzilla was run around by Frodo, the little Home Alone rascal downed the hothead of Happy Gilmore, and one of the most famous movie monsters of all time, the Xenomorph, was beat by a sci-fi newcomer. It’s time to see how they fare in the next round.
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(5) Kevin McCallister vs. (8) Frodo
Things that matter in basketball: speed, size, vision, athleticism, but in this fantastical scenario, we’re adding in other crazy attributes. Frodo has been through a lot, he basically saved the entire world from evil, but that doesn’t make him a skilled baller. He’s also got one thing that usually would be a disadvantage but in this case it is an even matchup: his height. Kevin McCallister comes in just about as tall is Frodo but with a much larger bag of tricks then simply going invisible like Frodo. No matter what Frodo can pull off on the court, Kevin is going to be one step ahead in the mind game and booby-trap category.
Ever hear of setting a trap on the basketball court? That’s a legit and coached move, but in this case it will be a completely different context. Hot Wheels, Christmas ornaments, cans of paint, all things Frodo will have to have to look out for as he versus Kevin. Frodo has one trick and one trick only, and abusing said trick could spell the end of all humankind as the eye of Sauron grows closer. Invisibility is definitely a coveted asset when it comes to hitting the paint but the fact that it can be used so sparingly completely neuters the move. Merry Christmas you filthy animal, Kevin McCallister comes away with the win.
Winner: Kevin McCallister
(2) Luke Skywalker vs. (6) Alien from A Quiet Place
Luke Skywalker is almost an unfair baller, he is a wizard on the court and a Jedi in the paint. From being able to see anything and everything around him with his eyes closed, to being able to use the force to dictate any part of the game, it’s almost an unfair matchup pitting him against anyone except for Neo from The Matrix. Honestly, what are his downsides? The fact that he is kind of whiny depending on which movie we are pulling him from? I think he can focus on basketball and not “going down to the Toshche station to pick up some power converters” for the 10 minutes we are putting these two against each other.
The alien from a quiet place (AFAQP), however, has downsides all over, he literally can’t even see. When I think of things that are required to play basketball efficiently I think vision ranks pretty high, it’s literally the most sense part of the game. I think we definitely have a crowd watching this matchup which can pose serious problems for AFAQP. Imagine all of the s*** talking and shouting that would be happening that would seriously confuse and disorient the AFAQP. That amount of tomfoolery going on in the background is going to really neuter the best part of the aliens game: his use of hearing. In the end, Luke skywalks his way to a breezy victor, and on to the finals.
Winner: Luke Skywalker